Schadenfreude

I've been almost invisible on here recently. Crunch time marking combined with a lack of inspiration and the fact that my partner is writing their own novel that takes up evenings and so I don't write mine? Oh, they're all excuses. I hope to get back into the swing of things soon.

In the meantime a friend of my partner has written and self-published her novel. Naturally we bought a copy. It is not very good at all. The sort of book that gives self-publishing a bad name. But we can't tell this person what we really think because a. they wouldn't listen and my partner would lose a friend and b. it's too late, they've already published. How awful? In the first fifty pages there isn't a single active sentence (six fight scenes though) and 80% of sentences begin with a person's name, 'he' or 'she'. In one scene, the first stirrings of love between the protagonist and the supposed romantic lead, we are treated to a geography lesson about the city. These are the only details given about the date. They even talk about the city instead of, well, anything else.

In an effort to keep myself sane whilst reading it and alleviate the pain, I have decided that I shall rewrite it. In setting up my first draft (long hand so not on here yet) I realised that it already looks sufficiently different that I could turn it into my own story relatively easily. I may do that. Of course, as it's already a book, my rewrite will be also.

I am such a bitch sometimes, sorry!

Christmas Post

It's been too long!

So, I have a beer review. Did I mention that I like drinking beers? I didn't!? Well, that must be rectified!

Here, have a beer review!


Yes, I am actually writing and posting a beer review on Christmas Day. I am that mental. But, it's been a bit of an odd one. No pressure, Him Indoors has done the duty regarding cooking, cleaning, dish-washing... basically all the crap stuff, and I've been on children watch. Which wasn't that hard. Not my forte, but not that hard (I'd've preferred cooking and cleaning if I'm honest, I love doing roasts).

Anyway, tonight I am reviewing Courage's Imperial Russian Stout. Which, if my reading serves me well, is a popular style of brew this year around where I am. I have never seen the like before and so I did ask for a selection of Christmas beer and I got it. Yay!

This comes in a tiny little bottle (275ml) and so straight away you know something about this beer is going to be different. It's also 10% ABV - apparently so it didn't freeze when exported from Britain to Murmansk back in the 1750s. Finally, it also conditions in the bottle for up to 13 years, presumably so that it could last once it arrived in Russia without having to make numerous resupply trips over wacky stormy seas (yes, thank you KLF).

I can claim no knowledge of the veracity of the historical story. However, on opening I can say that the pressure is high and so the head is vigorous and feisty. No whiff of CO2, implying that this was conditioned well and not with added gas in the bottle. The aroma is heavy and malty, with hints of chocolate and wet wood (no, really), and there is a smidge of citrus if you're looking for it, which I was. After the head has died down a little you can get close to the beer itself.

First sip is very chocolatey, reminds me of the Triple Chocolate Stout that I reviewed ages ago, but not so much that it overpowers things. Pleasant sparkle to the fizz with tones of citrus fruits, but these are mild like apples and pears rather than oranges or lemons, mostly one gets the malt and the weight of the beer. This is, I suppose, like Stout ought to be, heavy and malty and interesting. If you met this sip on the street you'd either strike up a conversation and take him home to meet the parents or else you'd quiver in fear and worry that you'd appear somehow less than human by mere comparison. Second sip is much the same, implying good staying power. You can feel the strength of that 10% ABV though, this is not a sessionable ale, but that's why it comes in dinky little bottles.

Overall, this is a heavy, winter warming beer. It's one you'd best enjoy on a cold evening, huddled round a crackling open fire keeping the frost at bay. Wrapped in winter furs, hunted yourself from the wild woods, telling tales and singing songs with good rough company. Don't shave. Don't shave anything for a few days. Don't wash except in water from beneath cracked ice. Then get that fire going, huddle, talk in low voices, laugh long and with feeling, and crack open one or two of these as you smile and joke with your companions. It will be worth it.

Day 5: A break later

So I didn't write anything last night. A combination of starting back at work, having a trip on today and general rattiness on my part meant that I wasn't really in the right mood to write anything other than swear words and curmudgeonly moaning and ranting. Tonight I had the pressure to let out and have managed to impose some kind of order on the sections that I've written so far, so that there isn't really a contiguous section to post here tonight.

Mostly I now have a plot, ish, with a structure that helps it all make a modicum of sense. I have two plot lines that seem to be self-sustaining and a feeling that I want to pervade them both - it can best be summed up by that Eurovision song I was referencing in an earlier post, but I have no idea how I'm going to get that whole idea working and woven into the very fabric of the story I'm trying to tell.

I'm also this-way, that-way on whether to include a male MC this year. I mean, there's a potential one that I've written in tonight along with a semi-important supporting cast member who is also male that I already had (Tremayne) but... I don't know. I'm quite keen on having most characters as females, at least, most named and important characters, because most books do the opposite and I would like mine to be different. The other reason is simply because I'd like the challenge of writing that way, in a way that most readers would not consider to be 'normal' when, in reality, it's just as 'normal' as mostly male characters in books.

Also, it's not actually fundamentally changing the plot or the story, it's just switching the gender of the characters from what most people would expect. Meh, I'm like that from time to time.

Of my bits and bats, numbering some 2,000 words this evening, 750words tell me that I am feeling mostly upset (with anxious coming a close second) and concerned mostly about money (with success a close second). This is unusual for my writing.

Total wordcount is now 9,565 words. Yay?

A Day Off - Day 3

So it is that I keep going. I suspect that, in order to make the wordcount for the evening, I shall have to take drastic action later in the month. For now there is enough guff to keep me going and plenty that, should I choose to go anywhere with this in the future, I will have to cull. But this year I am writing to participate rather than participating to write, for all that this entails.

I took the advice to write a normal day for my protagonist but couldn't resist the usual odd twist at the end, making it perfectly normal for me (the idea of the knowledgeable stranger who knows more than they ought is something of a trope with my writing - especially if I don't know where I'm going). It's... working so far. I do not believe it is like my more recent (and slightly better than usual) efforts. However, it's there.

www.750words.com tells me that it's mainly affectionate and concerned with eating and drinking tonight, but I have little else to share. There is a swear word in this, so I guess it's NSFW but it's only one.

Day 2: a plot?

So I'm obviously in this for the long haul now and I appear to not be writing the story that I had rather hoped I would be writing. A sheaf of marking for work has meant that the only time I've really had to think about what it is that I'm doing is as I've written the next tranche. Of course, this means I have made the word count for the day, which is nice.

On the minus side, I still don't really have an endpoint or even much of a conflict. These things tend to get more and more complicated in a desperate effort to find something on which to hang a plot. I hope that doesn't happen. I have, at least, gained one named character - Rebecca Collins. I think I may also have some idea where parts of this are going, it uses a concept I think I have already detailed on here called the 'Reality Gun'. Well, I guess we'll see.

If you really are a glutton for punishment you can read some more of this... thing after the line break.

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Again!

So, here I am again to the party(?) that is NaNoWriMo and this time everything is different. I have done no preparation, I have planned nothing and I have no real idea where I am going. Even this blog has been fallow for a very long time after moving house sort of ate my life over the summer holidays and a new job (very nice by the by) ate my time since. I actually only managed to move less than a month ago and so the last few weeks have been punctuated with unpacking boxes and attempting, rather unsuccessfully, to get my lovely new home in order.

Anyway, this abomination just spewed forth from my brain, only 1,193 words so far and it's taken about half an hour. Read, if you dare, after the page break. It's pretty awful and based loosely on the Eurovision song by Margaret Berger Feed you my love. You'll find that after the line break too.

It's Psychological

Back in the saddle again, and not even side-saddle, but a new edit of those first paragraphs of the nano attempt from last year. I'm hoping this will help me get started again. There aren't many huge changes but I hope it's easier to read, has less run on sentences and fewer repeated words.

Analysis is intriguing and is from 750words.com as ever.


Rating: PG-13 (swearing, sexual content[?] and violence[?])

Feeling mostly Affectionate[?], and concerned mostly about Home - intriguing.

Mindset: Extrovert - Negative - Certain - Feeling

Time: The Past; Primary Sense: Hearing; Us and Them: Them

40 minutes at 24 words per minute